Four popular “advantages” to cohabitation were listed in our last article. Here we’ll examine the “If we live together, we can save money” belief. This statement sounds logical on the surface, but “saving money” can come in different forms so we must be careful.
For example, many live-in couples don’t pool their financial resources like married people. Bank accounts and paychecks are kept separate just in case the love doesn’t last. Funds may be combined for food, utilities, and other basics, but the likelihood of accumulating wealth, or items that appreciate in value, is small.
Additionally, relationships must be built on trust. Keeping your money separate, to avoid experiencing the financial havoc your divorced mom or dad went through, may feel like security in the short run, but won’t yield the love and commitment you desire over the long haul.
For adults with divorced parents, the fear of marriage leaves them vulnerable to the “advantages” of living together. Compared to tying the knot, cohabitation seems like a safer and low-risk alternative, but economically, it’s a gamble at best. At worse, it can generate the rejection, abandonment, and inadequacy the adult child of divorce is trying to avoid.
Other financial “advantages” are purported as good reasons for cohabitation as well. However, under further scrutiny, they too don’t add up. Mike and Harriet McManus’ “Living Together; Myths, Risks, & Answers” is a good source for further information.
To wrap up, marriage can be a scary prospect for those who have experienced parental divorce, but God knows what’s best. The Bible teaches, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled.”1 This may not be in vogue, but doing things God’s way will lead you to what is truly safe and low risk.
Next, we’ll look at the belief that living together will “confirm our compatibility.”
1Hebrews 13:4a English Standard Version