When dealing with the effects of a parents’ divorce, looking at the breakup from the child’s perspective is essential. A HUGE chasm lies between how adults see their divorce, and how the kids view that same untying of the marital knot. This disparity came into glaring focus when I stumbled across the latest technological breakthrough – the divorce selfie.
I consider myself pretty up on this stuff. There’s divorce parties where the “freed one” celebrates their new life with relatives and friends, divorce burnings where mementos of the past relationship are destroyed, and divorce revenge which allows you to enjoy something previously forbidden by your ex. “To each his own,” I guess. But an ex-couple’s desire to send a 3-megabyte image of themselves holding divorce papers makes me want to throw up.
Think about this. The “til death do us part” certificate and pictures have been thrown into the recycle bin. The ink is barely dry on the dissolvement. A family legacy is crushed. So let’s take one last selfie together—holding the divorce papers? Really?
As an adult child of divorce and a person who talks with ACD’s who are still trying to recover from their parents’ split, a stadium of people watching Christians being torn apart by lions seems more palatable than a pic of Mom and Dad celebrating the end of our world. Isaiah’s words come to my mind when I think about this.
“What sorrow for those who say that evil is good and good is evil, that dark is light and light is dark, that bitter is sweet and sweet is bitter. What sorrow for those who are wise in their own eyes and think themselves so clever.”1 Isn’t it amazing how words written 2700 years ago still apply today?
To the divorcing parents, I know you’re hurting and want a new life. But I think a law should be passed that any divorce selfie must have the tear-stained faces of the children in front of the posing parents. But until that happens, may God have mercy on us and heal all of these hurting hearts.
1Isaiah 5:20-21, New Living Translation