Restoring Home: 100 Steps Toward Healing for the Adult Child of Divorce is my upcoming book. It’s a devotional that will lead adults with divorced parents on a hundred day journey through major issues ACOD face. Tools and resources are included that can help ACOD overcome the various ways their parents’ divorce still impacts them, their relationships, and their marriages. This sample is from the Trust section of the upcoming book. Feel free to share this with any adult with divorced parents you know.
What Must They Do to be Trustworthy? (Part 1)
(From Restoring Home by Kent Darcie)
Troy was frantic. Josh’s concerned expression mirrored his thoughts, but he said nothing so Troy continued. “Okay, I get that I have trust issues, but I’ve never seen Samantha so mad. I didn’t ‘interrogate’ (accented with finger quotes) her. I just wanted to know why she was late and where she was.” Though the restaurant was busy, Troy’s voice was carrying, and he noticed the averted glances from surrounding tables. Lowering to a whisper-shout he continued, “Is it a crime to want to know where your wife is?” Staring into Josh’s silence he waited. “Well?” After a long sip of coffee, his friend’s measured words came.
“Troy, you were fourteen when your mom left, right?”
“THAT HAS NOTHING to do with it.” (more averted glances)
“Troy, name one thing Sam has done to violate your trust—one.”
“I trust her, okay? It’s just…”
His eyes started looking through Josh, through the window, through time, and stopped in a familiar place—his old room. His father’s voice bellowed from the living room, “You’re leaving me for Tom?!!” Lost in the past, Troy was silent. A waitress topping up the coffee yanked him back to the present.
“It’s just…I guess I’m afraid.”
“I know. And that’s okay. But you can’t hold Sam hostage due to what your mother did.” The words were gentle, but the tone direct.
“I’ve really messed up, Josh. How can I ever fix this?”
“You’ve already started by admitting you’ve messed up. Confess that to God, then to Sam. After that get with Pastor Charlie. He’ll show you what the Bible says about trusting, and how you can apply it to your everyday life.”
If you’re having trust issues in a relationship, write down what tthey’vedone to cause your mistrust. If there isn’t anything, but you’re not trusting them, write everything they need to do for you to trust them. Write “If they would____________,then I’d completely trust them.” allow the Lord to show you what’s really behind what you listed.
Lord, please help me to be wise and not fearful in my relationships. Amen.