One of the questions I’m often asked is, “What can I do with my spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend who don’t think their parents’ divorce is affecting them? It’s so obvious it’s impacting them, but they won’t go there.” Spouses hear this alot. Mine did. For years I denied that my parents’ breakup was having any affect on me. So if you who want to help your adult child of divorce, but have been stonewalled, here are a couple of helpful tools:
- The Huffington Post has been running a series by adults with divorced parents on what it’s like to be an adult child of divorce. Very interesting insights from a variety of people. Click here to see that thread. Then share one of the articles with your loved one.
- Karen Klein created the Broken Circle Project. It is a series of photo-vignettes in which college students describe the impact of their parents’ divorce. Find a story that is closest to your loved one’s and show it to them. Or have them browse this site if they will.
Both of these resources give powerful, undeniable insights into the far reaching impact of our parents’ divorce and can break the logjam of denial. I wish I’d had info like this years ago. Thankfully it’s available now. But even with these great tools don’t overlook the most powerful thing you can do for your adult child of divorce; pray for them.
I’m a huge Star Wars fan. One of the key themes is, “Don’t underestimate the power of the force.” Important words, but Star Wars is fiction. On the other hand, James (the brother of Jesus) wrote, “The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”1 Basically, don’t underestimate the power of your prayers to change your loved one’s heart! This is not fiction. It’s true. I know. I’m the product of my wife’s countless prayers. Pray for them. Also pray that God will reveal how He can use you to help. This will help you to do things God’s way and in His timing and not your own.
1James 5:16 [NLT]