Father Hunger and the Real Fifty Shades of Grey

I hadn’t planned to jump into this fray. However, because of the father hunger, feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, and the fear of abandonment that plague adult children of divorce, I felt it was important to share an article from Dr. Miriam Grossman unworthy woman 1titled, “A Psychiatrist’s Letter to Young People about Fifty Shades of Grey.”

Please read and share this important article with every female you know—particularly those from divorced homes because of their increased vulnerability.

I’m also posting this link to a presentation I did on Father Hunger. The video and audio quality aren’t stellar, but the message is critically important for any woman whose parents are divorced—and the men who love them.

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Ten Ways for Adult Children of Divorce to Have a Better 2015 – Audio

Here is the audio of the New Beginnings radio program I guest hosted for. The topic is “Ten Ways for Adult Children of Divorce to Have a Better 2015.” broken heart-in-hands white backgroundIt is an overview of the issues adult children of divorce face and what we can do this year to change things.

Click Here to listen to the program.

First Things First – Starting the Year off Right

rescued picture

“Rescued” by Darren Hoover

This is my favorite picture, because it sums up my life. I tried to do things on my own, yet peace alluded me. I felt like I was always struggling to stay above water with waves of fear, stress, anger, and temptations washing over me. When I gave my life to Jesus Christ thirty-one years ago, I finally felt  I had something solid to hold onto and a process of change began that continues to this day. And standing on the truths of the Bible has been a a vital help in dealing with the issues that were created by my parents’ divorce.

I hope that you will make this year a breakthrough time for you. When you look back at 2015, may you see how your fears were reduced and kept in check, anger issues were diminished, and strained relationships were improved or restored. All of these are possible! But the foundation for these breakthroughs is built upon the saving love of God through Jesus Christ.The first issue we need to deal with is our sin. And only Jesus Christ can cleanse us from our sins.

If you don’t understand what following Jesus means and want to better understand and see examples of the exciting things He can do, please click here for “The Message of the Cross” from Billy Graham.  Regardless of the “waves” you are struggling with, Jesus can heal and restore. More important, He wants to heal and restore. Learn more in this surprising and touching video.

May God richly bless you all this new year.

Kent

I Have Nothing to be Thankful For

Does this title summarize your feelings as 2014 wraps up? Are you going through your days with this mindset? Before you say “No,” do any of these apply to you?

  • You or a loved one had or have a significant sicknesswomen-consoling-each-other cropped
  • Divorce came to you or someone close this year
  • You are grieving over a wayward child
  • A relationship was lost
  • Unemployment happened
  • You lost a loved one this year
  • You succumbed to temptation and habitual sin occurred…again
  • You had other big losses or disappointments
  • A steady stream of small losses or disappointments were the backdrop of your year

Maybe these words of the psalmist summarize where you are right now?
“Save me, O God, for the floodwaters are up to my neck.
Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire; I can’t find a foothold.
I am in deep water, and the floods overwhelm me.
I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched.
My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me.”
Psalm 69: 1-3. [NLT]

Adult Children of Divorce HealingThese feelings are real. And, given that similar thoughts are recorded in the Bible, they are ok. But we shouldn’t stay there. Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”1 It is important to bring these feelings and burdens to Jesus.

It is also a great help to focus on what you do have. For example:

  • You are on an electronic device right now—which means you have access to the internet
  • You can read this—which means you are mentally ok
  • You are probably not reading this from a park bench—which means you have shelter
  • You are not reading this naked—which means you have clothing
  • It’s likely you’ve eaten today—which means you have access to food

The Lord has provided these basic things, but we can find far more to be thankful for when we take time to think about it. So why not do this right now? Write down what happened in 2014 that you can give thanks for.

When you focus on Jesus and give thanks for these blessings (large and small), it will help you to work through the challenges life laid at your doorstep this past year. We see this principle in action later in Psalmfamily praying together 69 when the psalmist, after dealing with disappointment and a desire for revenge, comes to the point where he writes “I will praise the name of God with a song: I will magnify him with thanksgiving.”2

Thanksgiving is God’s antidote to the trials we experience. Allow Him to remind you of how much He loves you and how much you have to be thankful for.

 

1Matthew 11:28, New Living Translation
2Psalm 69:30, ibid.

Forgiveness and the Adult Child of Divorce

Recently I hosted the New Beginings show with Rick Van Briggles. On the program I presented a brief overview of forgiveness as related to adult with divorced parents. Click below to listen to the program. Kent Darcie onNew Beginnings Show

Voice of the Child of Divorce

This video shows a young boy with a powerful message about the effect of divorce. It was created by Monica Epperson who experienced five parental divorces before she graduated from high school. Understandably, she shares my passion to break the cycle of divorce. Please click here and take a couple minutes to see this gripping video.abandoned boy

I’m starting to hear the “you don’t deserve to get ripped off” divorce commercials. The lawyers are gearing up for the January/February surge. If you or someone you know are considering divorce, please look at this video and the considering divorce tab on this site. Your kids and your future grandkids will thank you.

Monica Epperson is the CEO and Co-founder of THE CHILD OF DIVORCE which can be found at http://www.thechildofdivorce.com.

The “Importance of Boundaries” Audio is Now Up

The recording of my talk on the New Beginnings Program with Rick Van Briggle is now up on this site. I discussed one type of boundary and how to apply it when dealing with parents and step-parents. Click here to listen to the 30 minute program.