The month of November includes the special days of Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Cyber Monday. December hosts Christmas. January gets Annual Divorce Day.1 This year it will probably be Monday the 5th.
Lawyers (and counselors) know that January has been the biggest month for divorce inquires for years. But why does this annual phenomenon occur now? Three reasons:
1) The spouse failed the holiday divorce test. The holiday divorce test plays out like this: “If things don’t improve over Thanksgiving and Christmas, I’m filing for divorce.”
2) Only Scrooges divorce during the “the most wonderful time of the year” holidays. Consequently, the divorce paperwork or lawyer’s number is hidden in a drawer until after the New Year.
3) (And this is the tragic one), The wife (60 – 70% of the filings will be by the wife) didn’t try to get outside help. The hurting spouse believes the lie that they’re the only couple experiencing marital problems and/or their marriage is too far gone. But this is rarely the case.
And here’s why, (excluding cases of physical abuse) after the divorce, the freed spouse is going to make a lot of effort to do all the stuff (dressing up, being considerate and patient, tolerating differences, etc.) for the new relationship. They don’t realize that if they took those steps now, things would probably change. Same effort, but no years of dealing with an ex-spouse, angry kids, or antagonistic step-kids.
So if I’ve been describing you or a friend, please check out these resources,
- God and His Word. Now more than ever it is important to filter your feelings through the truth found in the Bible.
- Love and Respect Ministries – This site has excellent marriage help resources.
- Retrouvaille – Proven to help marriages that are in real trouble.
- One More Try – authored by Dr. Gary Chapman. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by applying the tools that are found in this valuable book.
- “8 Lies That Parents on the Brink of Divorce Might Tell Themselves.” An article by Couples Mediator, Debra Macleod.
Jesus said, “With God, all things are possible.”2Seek Him, and guidance from God’s Word during this difficult time. Pray for God to do a healing work in yourself, your spouse, your kids, and your marriage. And have others praying too. Try one or all of the resources listed above. You, your kids, and your marriage is worth it!
1Sarah O’Grady, Annual Divorce Day is here: 1 in 4 parents thinking of splitting. http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/549758/Quarter-of-parents-considering-divorce.