The Gift of Hope (Pulling Back From Divorce)

Christmas has passed, but gift giving needs to continue. Start with the gift of hope. This month many adult children of divorce are contemplating what they swore they’d never do to their children—filing for divorce.

This is not a sudden whim. Months or years of feeling unloved, disrespected, or fearful they aren’t good enough to keep their spouse, or tired of arguments that raise fearful memories from childhood, have combined with the stresses of life to squeeze out any hope.

Satan whispers “things will never change” and they think, “Now I see why Mom divorced Dad.” “Now Dad’s leaving makes sense.” However, few want to ruin Christmas, so January comes, and the call is made.

These precious individuals need the gift of hope and you can help.

  1. Be a godly ear for them to talk to. You’d be surprised how many people file for divorce without talking to anybody.
  2. Watch their kids on a weekend night so the struggling couple can have time together.
  3. Buy them tickets to a marriage retreat. The Love and Respect conference and Weekend to Remember getaway weekends are excellent. For marriages in serious trouble, Retrouvaille and Focus on the Family’s Hope Restored Marriage Intensive Experience  are proven tools that can help.
  4. Review and have them review our Considering Divorce page. Even those with divorced parents rarely understand the gravity and lifelong consequences of this drastic action.
  5. PUSH! Now is not the time for timidity. Too often I hear, “Well, I don’t want to rock the boat by interfering.” THE BOAT IS SINKING! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by offering tools and hope to the hopeless.Praying woman hands by Long Thiên
  6. The Bible says, “pray without ceasing1 and that, “The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”Pray for your friend, family member, or coworker’s marriage. Pray for protection from Satan’s attacks of doubt, fear, hate, and selfishness. Pray works!

It’s the biggest month for divorce calls and the lawyers know it. Let’s work together to thwart more divorces by giving the gift of hope this new year.

11 Thessalonians, 5:17, ESV
2 James 5:16b, NLT

Praying woman hands by Long Thiên


Please Cancel the Divorce Test – (Annual Divorce Day is Here)

The month of November includes the special days of Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Cyber Monday. December hosts Christmas. January gets Annual Divorce Day.1 This year it will probably be Monday the 5th.

Lawyers (and counselors) know that January has been the biggest month for divorce inquires for years. But why does this annual phenomenon occur now? Three reasons:women pondering divorce wiki how
1) The spouse failed the holiday divorce test. The holiday divorce test plays out like this:  “If things don’t improve over Thanksgiving and Christmas, I’m filing for divorce.
2) Only Scrooges divorce during the “the most wonderful time of the year” holidays. Consequently, the divorce paperwork or lawyer’s number is hidden in a drawer until after the New Year.
3) (And this is the tragic one), The wife (60 – 70% of the filings will be by the wife) didn’t try to get outside help. The hurting spouse believes the lie that they’re the only couple experiencing marital problems and/or their marriage is too far gone. But this is rarely the case.

And here’s why, (excluding cases of physical abuse) after the divorce, the freed spouse is going to make a lot of effort to do all the stuff (dressing up, being considerate and patient, tolerating differences, etc.) for the new relationship. They don’t realize that if they took those steps now, things would probably change. Same effort, but no years of dealing with an ex-spouse, angry kids, or antagonistic step-kids.

So if I’ve been describing you or a friend, please check out these resources,

Jesus said, “With God, all things are possible.2Seek Him, and guidance from God’s Word during this difficult time. Pray for God to do a healing work in yourself, your spouse, your kids, and your marriage. And have others praying too. Try one or all of the resources listed above. You, your kids, and your marriage is worth it!


1Sarah O’Grady, Annual Divorce Day is here: 1 in 4 parents thinking of splitting.
2Matthew 19:26b.KJV.